Just friends, phase, girlfriend,sexual partner
I am seeing this girl. Last time I saw her, I called her on her Bday, to say happy Bday,and she told me right then to go meet her at a place she was going for her Bday with her sister, bro in law, and some other friends dropping by. I went by, had a good time, noplace to get one on one tough, sitting at a table, I sat next to her, people around, I just blended , just gave hints, for her to know that I am not just the friend, I am interested in other stuff, but nothing to make her feel uneasy(sister and others on scene).At one point she was talking some stuff with the guy next to her to her right(I was on the left), and she came on saying, right, what do you think about it?, and I was not really paying attention, to the wording, honestly I was just listening to her voice, so, I looked at her in the eye enough to make her look back at my eyes and say, what!, then I said, well, sorry, I was not paying attention, I was lost enjoying your beauty, BTW, you did a good job with your make up(make up part to show appreciation for something that is so personal)and she liked it, I caught her off guard, and I grabbed her face(in playful manner, we all were friendly, having fun chat)and gave her a kiss on the cheek, of course, the other guy(a long time friend of hers) felt left out and followed kiss on her cheek. The rest of the night went fine, I could only join in and relax, it is not a position to compete, long time friends, family members, I felt I got to blend in, without ever surrendering my intentions, but low key. I told her I got her present, a lobster dinner at my place, and she said cool,I will help you cook, we will plan for it after crazy December, January. I will have to figure that out, all I know is I must buy a lobster and boil it, could not care less for the lobster, I want her…
Well, I want to avoid any more family or friends reunions, to many interference, so, am I right in doing this? I am afraid attending this gatherings will put me, by virtue of the situation, in a disposable category, while I remain low key, somebody else can jump in, or she can get used to me and loose any if interest in myself. I know and I realize I can not do anything about how she feels for anybody else, not my territory, all I can do is work on how she feels about me. In those gatherings I am not working towards my goal.Yesterday she had a reunion with her long time friends, another small group that could not go to the previous Bday celebration.I did not go, I do not want to hang around her w/no action , danger of loosing my position as a sexual/GF one, do not want to fall into a nice friend.You know, girl friends being around, it is no place to try anything, you know how GF’s become, it could only backfire, is like going to war by yourself against a battalion. I am not going to have any contact until January, after the holiday crap is past(new years, she is to be w/her family)then I will try. I know at this point I am in a forest, I got to be on a date w her, one on one to work her out, I am not sure about the
outcome, but I have faith I can do it.Nothing to loose as it is said. The interesting point here is her friend, she is good friends with her, at the same time she is good friends with me,and she came to me and told me she is noticed my interest in this girl. Well, she being a mutual friend, and insisting she saw stuff(my way of looking at her, etc) I said, well, I like her, 1st of all, in the name of our friendship, keep it here, between us(I wonder if she will comply, I guess she will, we are close friends)and told her my liking for her friend.She was caught a little bit by surprise, but knew something was there. Then she told me she likes me as a friend, , I asked her, do you know for a fact? she says, no but I
know how she thinks,well, I said, I will find out, [besides, I know I am working uphill, I know I have reached the comfortable zone, not a stranger anymore,she is comfortable with me, it is time to speed up, flirt and get it sexual overtones, which is my next step(after this gathering interference)]…and told her that being friends could be the first step. Depends on my actions from now on how this evolves, and I am not after a good friend here. So, Provided this friend will not open her mouth,even if she does, I am not worried, but would be better if she keeps shut,{I believe she will}… ten, I though, even if she thinks of me as a friend, it depends on me from now on, the way I present myself, the way I charge the atmosphere with sexual overtones, touching,in a date, she has gotten the message already, I’ve put myself out as having an interest in her, more than a friendship, and she still calls to invite me to her Bday and sends mails, so, I am in a position(I think) where probably we are friends, but it could tilt the other way, if she did not like me nore my advances, she would had cut me out.I have not given her any presents nor fancy outings, so it is not a situation where she is using me for advantage.
What do you guys recommend, on my next date, and forward. Am I doing right in getting of the scene from this gatherings that I consider useless to my goal? And about this mutual friend, I already ignored her “just friends” comment,I believe friends can become sexual, just imagine a friend of yours, a average, in shape friend all of the sudden sending you sexual messages,it will turn you on, at least make you think, depends on many variables, it has to be a physically attractive , and, it can work, specially if (aggressor) committed to turning the friendship around. I learn that it is better to add no pressure, no BF/GF goal, the goal is just sexual, once you are sexual partners, then you can go as far as you want, whereas aiming for GF, you might scare her, and ruin any attraction there could be for fear of getting caught in a unwanted situation.
