When most guys think about meeting women, the first places that come to mind are bars and dance clubs. But are these really the best environments to make your move? It’s crowded, it’s noisy, there’s lots of competition, and usually women travel to these places in packs. That’s a lot to overcome just to get a couple minutes alone trying to convince a woman to hand over her phone number.
And the worst thing about these staged meet-up places is that most women have learned to keep their emotional walls up at all times to ward off the jerks and losers, who inevitably hit on them with nauseating frequency. Unless you’re Brad Pitt or Johnny Depp, you better be a pretty smooth talker to break through her defenses and score her digits. And even if you manage to do that, you don’t know how many other guys she may have given her number to that same night. You don’t even know if it’s her real number.
An important thing to realize is that while most guys are usually at these places looking to meet women, most women are just there to have a good time with their friends. And of course, getting that little ego boost from having guys kissing up to them all night doesn’t hurt either. Because guys mistakenly believe that women are there for the same reason they are, to meet someone new to date or hook up with, they usually go home disappointed and bewildered, wondering why they weren’t able to make a connection.
Even if a guy is able to engage a woman for a period of time, and maybe even get her number, she is most likely not taking the encounter nearly as seriously as he is. That’s why when the guy calls her 2 or 3 days later, he most likely will get screened to her voicemail, or just blown off directly, leaving him to wonder what happened in the last 48 hours that “suddenly” turned her off. Most likely she was never seriously “turned on” to the idea of going out with him in the first place.
So all in all, bars and clubs would seem to leave a lot to be desired for a guy looking to meet and date women. And even worse if he’s looking for a long-term relationship.
So the question is: Where is a better place to meet women than a bar or club?
The answer is: Pretty much anywhere else in the world.
While many guys have a plethora of lame pick-up lines they can resort to in a bar or club setting, these same guys are mostly ill-equipped and unprepared for meeting women out in the real world, where those same lines would seem totally inappropriate, and most likely offensive. That’s where taking a fun, spontaneous Smart-A$$ approach comes into play.
When you are out doing your everyday errands and suddenly encounter some hot woman you are totally attracted to, rather than using some corny compliment, or handing her some canned opening line, it’s much more natural and effective to observe your target for a few moments and improvise something on the spot. You do this by looking for something she may be wearing or doing that may seem a little off kilter, or that just catches your eye.
Riding a crowded bus home from work one day, an extremely hot girl got on and stood directly in front of me. I decided to make a move on her and looked for something I could tease her about. I noticed the tag on her blouse was hanging out, so I leaned forward and said, “Is having the tag hanging out of your blouse a new trend, or are you just making a rebellious fashion statement.”
Taken by surprise, she turned to look at me and then reached back and adjusted the back of her blouse. With a slightly embarrassed laugh she thanked me for telling her. I then said with a sly smile, “That’s ok, but you have to be more careful in the future. The fashion police are everywhere. I can’t be following you all over town monitoring your fashion faux-pas.”
After that I broke eye contact to resume reading my paper. But while I was still looking down I said, “Oh, and by the way, you have cat hair all over the back of your pants.” This totally cracked her up, and we spent the rest of the ride together with her continuously asking me, “How do I look now?”
Now normally this girl was probably used to having guys kissing up to her in hopes of winning her favor and approval. But by just using this more self-confident Smart-a$$ approach, I was able to easily turn the tables on her. So instead of me seeking HER approval, I actually had this totally hot woman falling all over herself seeking MY approval.
That’s really all it takes to approach women in the course of your every day life, where you don’t have to deal with most of the negative aspects of the night club scene. The main advantage to meeting women in natural settings is that they don’t have all those walls and defense mechanisms up like they normally would in a bar or club. In fact, you are usually catching them a little off guard. The two main things to remember is to keep things natural and don’t lower yourself by trying to seek her approval.
So do yourself a favor. Instead of going to crowded, noisy dance clubs to meet women, just go there to relax and have some laughs with your friends. If you meet someone while you’re there having fun, that’s great. But really, the only place you need to go to meet women, all the women you want, is right outside your own front door.
David Curtis is a dating expert and relationship coach for men and women. For more dating and relationship advice, and to download your copy of my FREE Ebook, “Inside the Mind of the Elite Player”, visit http://www.alphadater.com
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